Okay, time to lighten up !

• you try to align on Polaris but there's a big obstruction in the way and your wife says "That's the planet Earth, dopey!"

• the SCT you bought in America will only work properly when you glue the tripod legs to the ceiling.

• you try to find the Magellanic galaxies but there are two little clouds getting in the way.

• you see Sagittarius high overhead when everybody 'knows' it's supposed to be low in the south west.

• you set your telescope to the celestial pole only to find that there's nothing there.

• you try to find the Owl Nebula when its on the meridian but all you see is your shoelaces.

• you like the idea of being 'Down Under' and wonder what it's like being 'Up Over'.

• your telescope shows the planets the right way up when all the books say they are supposed to be inverted.

• you think nothing of using Nortons Star Atlas standing on your head.

• you normally find the South Celestial Pole by drawing a line through Achernar and Alpha Centauri and dividing by 0.4293!

• you return your new Star Atlas because the printer put in all the star and constellation names upside down.

• you really can't understand why 47 Toucana and Omega Centauri aren't on the Messier List.

• you try to find the Great Bear (Ursa Major) but all you see is a koala in a tree three kilometers away.

• all your friends say "G'day mate. Owyergoin', Orright?" AND you answer in the same way!
  (replace Australian marsupial and slang with local versions!)

• you find Orion doing hand stands.

• you can't believe how clear and dark the skies are.